I’m not ashamed to admit it: I love Twitter (and these 10 Musicians On Twitter). I find it fascinating. I like knowing what some 19-year-old stranger in Corpus Christi, Texas, just watched on TV. So I decided to travel back in time 25 years, to 1984, to marry one of the greatest films of all time — “The Karate Kid” — with Twitter. To see what Daniel LaRusso would’ve tweeted throughout his first five months in Los Angeles… from a newcomer from Jersey all the way thru emerging victorious at the All Valley Karate Tournament. And I’m pretty sure it would’ve gone something like this…
From the Twitter account of KarateDan
Moving day. Cross country from Jersey to Reseda w/ Mom in station wagon. Somehow fit my whole life into 1 suitcase.
9:34 AM Aug 17th, 1984 from Twitter
In Cali finally. Met a cool guy in apt complex, @freddiefernandez. Mom talked 4 the entire trip about the pool. The pool looks like sh*t. http://twitpic.com/3aasd
12:15 PM Aug 22nd, 1984 from Twitter
Went to find maintenance guy. Found old Japanese dude with Bonzai headband waving chopsticks in air. WTF?!?
12:43 PM Aug 22nd, 1984 from UberTwitter
Today, I was at a beach party, teaching this hot chick some soccer skills & her a-hole boyfriend and his friends jumped me. FML.
4:03 AM Aug 25th, 1984 from Twitter
Not gonna lie, kinda nervous for 1st day of school. At least if it floods I’ll be OK. http://twitpic.com/xz32as
7:45 AM Aug 26th, 1984 from UberTwitter
OMG, riding home, a-hole guy and his friends drove me off the road. Bike’s busted. I hate the Valley.
9:30 PM Sep 14th, 1984 from Twitter
See I’m not the only one! RT @zackmorris: Valley sucks!
9:34 PM Sep 14th, 1984 from Twitter
Old Japanese maintenance guy fixed my bike. Then trapped me in lecture about bonsai trees. Not worth it.
11:02 PM Sep 15th, 1984 from Twitter
RT @reaganrules: Turn your Twitter icon green to protest @Ayatollah.
3:35 PM Oct 1, 1984 from Twitter
Going to #halloween dance dressed as a shower. Made by my best friend, @mrmiyagi. I have a very strange life.
8:30 PM Oct 31st, 1984 from UberTwitter
@mrmiyagi just beat up all 5 Cobra Kais. By himself. It just got stranger.
10:55 PM Oct 31st, 1984 from UberTwitter
#followfriday @mrmiyagi @alimills @guidosinsocal and I know it’s kinda generic but @aplusk
3:35 PM Nov 6th, 1984 from Twitter
Got a date tonight — what do people do in the Valley?
4:55 PM Nov 13th, 1984 from Twitter
Got 2 ideas- RT @valleyfun Try Golf N Stuff or RT @tharealvalley Visit a porn set.
6:02 PM Nov 13th, 1984 from Twitter
“Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.” #Sh*tMySenseiSays
4:19 PM Nov 16th, 1984 from UberTwitter
Standin’ crane style on bow of boat for like 10 minutes today. I’m on a boat!
3:59 PM Nov 27th, 1984 from UberTwitter
Kinda wondering what happened to my neighbor @freddyfernandez — hung out with him the first night in town then never saw him again.
1:06 PM Dec 2nd, 1984 from Twitter
@mrmiyagi is totally hiznammered. LOL! Oh… wait… sh*t… he’s crying and just passed out.
12:33 AM Dec 11th, 1984 from UberTwitter
Random question: How much do you think you could get for a Japanese WWII medal on ebay?
12:33 AM Dec 11th, 1984 from UberTwitter
@mrmiyagi just gave me a car for my bday!!! I dont understand why mom keeps getting weird about me hanging w/ a single, childless older man.
10:14 PM Dec 18th, 1984 from UberTwitter
Just got to #allvalleykaratetournament. Kinda nervous… but feeling like I’m the best… around… nothing’s gonna ever keep me down!
11:04 AM Dec 19th, 1984 from UberTwitter
One of the Cobra Kai cheap shotted me in the leg. Don’t know if I can come back. But if I do, I sure hope no one sweeps it.
3:45 PM Dec 19th, 1984 from UberTwitter
Put me in a body bag? That seems a little harsh.
4:13 PM Dec 19th, 1984 from UberTwitter
Crane kick FTW!!! Heading outside now, hope that Johnny’s sensei isn’t too hard on him for the loss. At least I won’t have to see any more fighting today.
5:51 Dec 19th, 1984 from UberTwitter
This journey thru karate history was brought to you by Sam Greenspan, the writer of 11Points.com and unabashed lover of the song “You’re the Best.”
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