Unless you live in a cave (or avoid the theater like it was an IRS agent infected with swine flu), you have no doubt noticed an alarming trend that’s taking place on the Great White Way. More and more often Broadway producers are turning Hollywood blockbusters into extravagant, big budget musicals. There’s no bigger example of this atrociousness than the “Spider-Man” musical set to premiere in February 2010. (Did we mention Bono and the Edge are writing the music for that one? Yikes!)
Of course, that being said, we wouldn’t mind seeing a few of our favorite movies turned into musicals. Here are 10 Films We’d Like To See On Broadway.
10. “Happy Gilmore”
Adam Sandler already let someone turn “The Wedding Singer” into a lackluster, short-lived Broadway musical, so why not this hockey player turned golfer? Needless to say, the actor who gets cast as Shooter McGavin should start working on his Tony acceptance speech.
SAMPLE SONGS: “The Price is Wrong, Bob Barker” and “Tap-tap-tap It In!”
9. “Fight Club”
Turning this cult classic into a musical would mean lots of “West Side Story”-like dance/fight scenes. Couldn’t we all use more of that kind of choreography in our lives?
SAMPLE SONGS: “The First Rule of Fight Club is…” and “His Name was Robert Paulson”
8. “Sicko”
Debating the future of health care in America is all the rage. Which is why Broadway should strike while the iron is hot and break ground by producing the first musical based on a documentary. (“Grey Gardens” doesn’t count.) We look forward to seeing Nathan Lane play Michael Moore.
SAMPLE SONGS: “Preexisting Conditions” and “HMO Blues”
7. “The Goonies”
Watching Broadway actors sing songs about their search for One-Eyed Willie would be good, but seeing a chorus line full of dancers perform the Truffle Shuffle would be great! We only wish Corey Feldman’s career had lived long enough to see it.
SAMPLE SONGS: “The Truffle Shuffle” and “Sloth Love Chunk”
6. “Scarface”
There’s no fictional character as popular with young, urban males as Tony Montana. Which is why seeing him sing and dance would be so much darn fun. We think it’s safe to say Scarface would go down as the most graphically violent musical in theater history.
SAMPLE SONGS: “Say Hello To My Little Friend” and “Your Womb Is So Polluted”
5. “Saving Private Ryan”
Sure, the subject matter might seem a bit dark and complex for musical theater, but who wouldn’t pay $100 a ticket to watch the first 20 minutes of this film turned into a dance number?
SAMPLE SONGS: “We Have Some Bad News, Mrs. Ryan” and “FUBAR!”
4. “Do the Right Thing”
We think we can all agree Broadway needs more musicals about inner city racial tension. So why not start with one of the first films to explore the topic? We look forward to seeing Nathan Lane play Sal.
SAMPLE SONGS: “It’s Really, Really Hot Today” and “D, mother f**ker, D”
3. “Fast Times At Ridgemont High”
There’s no better way to celebrate the greatest high school movie of all-time than by making a mockery of it on Broadway. We’re all eagerly awaiting the tasteful musical interpretation of Linda Barrett walking in on Brad Hamilton in the bathroom.
SAMPLE SONGS: “Aloha, Mr. Hand” and “The Ballad of Jeff Spicoli”
2. “Cool Hand Luke”
There’s something about a prison camp of sweaty men that just makes us want to break into song. If nothing else, this would go down as the toughest musical in theater history… or the lamest.
SAMPLE SONGS: “Failure to Communicate” and “Dig, Dig, Diggin’ that Ditch, Boss”
1. “Karate Kid”
Any halfway decent choreographer should have no problem making Danielson’s iconic crane kick into one of Broadway’s most stunning visual achievements. We look forward to seeing Nathan Lane play Miyagi.
SAMPLE SONGS: “Wax on, Wax off” and “Sweep the Leg”
Love movies or Broadway or just awesome Photoshop jobs? Check out our 9 Most Awkward Movies To Watch On A Date and 10 Ways Disney Will Ruin Marvel.
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