When you see the ads they would run at movie theaters and drive-ins several decades ago, you realize that movies had intermissions. And the ads they ran were loaded with cheesiness. Some were even cheesier than the lessons from the “GI Joe” cartoon. Some say movies should still have intermissions but so many low quality films come out every year that an intermission would translate into “let’s get the f*ck out of here.” So sit back, relax and enjoy these bizarre ads that are more dated (and screwed) than Paris Hilton.
6. The Family’s Urge
This ad was aimed at the entire family. These folks must have just arrived from Death Valley because they are so thirsty by intermission that they stand up, open their mouths and let their tongues hang out. The hidden sexual messages just ooze out of the screen.
5. Popcorn Trick
It seems that the only way movies made money in the ’50s was by selling every single thing at the concession stand. They pushed their products so hard that you would feel like a freak if you didn’t buy a year’s supply of hot dogs. We’re just surprised they didn’t promote popcorn buckets with the holes already cut out because that’s what the guys were doing on their dates.
4. The Classic Lobby
Just look how wonderfully dressed people were in the earlier decades to go to the movies. As a matter of fact, some even called it “the show.” Nowadays, sweat pants are the norm especially among older guys at Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers films.
3. Drive-In Time
This was a 10 minute intermission feature for drive-in theaters that featured a creepy guy in a mustache and ice cream bars acting gayer than an “American Idol” host. The 10-minute countdown was not only used for moviegoers to know how much time they could spend at the concession stand, but it allowed guys to time their oral sex adventures perfectly in the backseat of their cars.
2. Hot Dog Tree
The writers for this intermission feature must have been high at the time. They created a mountain of concession stand goodies that includes a hot dog tree. Many of the kids of that generation grew up believing hot dogs grew on the trees only to find out they couldn’t eat one because they were Jewish.
1. Scare the Crap Out Of Kids Feature
If you were a child at the theater, this is one ad that would scare the crap out of you. We’re not sure what they were going for, but this ad simply says: psychedelic drugs!
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